jamming my heart through the glory hole when there's no one on the other side

by heart behind a barbed wire hymen

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released September 12, 2012

Cover illustration by Constanze Moll www.constanzemoll.com



all rights reserved
Track Name: Ellie Idol
Ellie Idol
Holy bible broken words
I've lost my trust that god could ever care
Suspicion breeds inside the wound
Cut through the heart with unrequited love
This heart is bare

Soundtrack full of requiems
A suicide note for all my friends to hear
I gave my life to Jesus Christ
A primrose path labyrinthine design
This heart is yours

Burden of sin at birth
Transfusion of savior blood

All I ever need from you
Is seduction when you look me in the eyes
Bruise myself on the altar of
A surrogate for a god I've never felt

Symbiotic sacrifice
Excretion from the heart sold back and forth
The paragon for you and me
Bible verse imaginary friend

And the life god gave to me brings shame
You say I'm someone new but I can't change

In a world built to hold me down
A roll call in the book of life

Pick and choose which verse shows you god

Your sins gave me more than a savior ever could
Altruistic crash of bodies death in your arms
Guillotine urethras trap door heart
Sewn together pheromones stretch for miles

My heart was wreckage after the storm hit you stole my life
I've treaded for too long on the skin of the ocean let me inside
Under the water forever and onward open my eyes
Palms full of sinners choosers and beggars serpents and lambs

Stitch up the mouth and soul bury my past
Reborn through the sanctified glory hole palms
I gave you the sins that cauterize my life
A swap meet of martyr blood debit or cash
Track Name: Tiresias
Cristina Tiberia
I stick my heart out
Oh brave new world
I’m too lethargic
To be reborn
Embryo sun burn
Crucified birth
Awestruck and godless
I can sin for days

I’m the half born husk of a man
I would if I could but I can’t
A stones throw away from the stars
Heaven bursts open and the floodgates deform

Body of shadows
Give me new form
Sea of empty reasons
Blood clots the shore
I’m not a soul mate
I’m a wasted heart
Cum shots on paper
Suicide notes

Barbed wire castles collide
My romantic and dreary desires
Paper mache heart strings torn
Suicide warmth the soft sting inside

Waiting for my heart
To hopscotch yours
Sweet Virginia wolf
Drown in the rivers arms
Wash up on the shore

Unrequited palms
Porn stars reciprocate lust
Tie the open veins to your heart
The closest that I’ve been to love

And the sun falls down
An austere ruin
And the ocean bleeds
Menstrual foam

I’ve died resurrected and ashamed
Burnt hearts never beat the same again
Black skies in the blood flow of the night
God damn a culture without praise

Veiled heart the invisible described
Sold out you paid for me in poses
I sigh sarcastic as I cry
In Christ salvation as the bride

Born to fall in love
Solipsistic doubt
Tangled yellow brick roads
Candle flame burnt moth
Track Name: Marceline
I’m not the man I’m supposed to be
The wounded childhood still bleeds
The heart leaks ashes from the mouth
I’ve tried to change but I feel the same
The poetry of shame

How far along do I have to be
Before someone tries to love me
A new girl another hopeless crush
The same prayer for someone to see me
And love me as I am

A son fatherless and bruised
I’ve lost who I am
But you've become a friend
I can be myself with

I can hear your voice from across the room
A thunderous roar of beauty
Opposites become each others foil
My voice as quiet as a heart beat
A whisper in your ear

I write you my same old song
Take it if you want or turn me down
Burnt out borrowed stars
Every word I write just turns to dust

And when I sing on stage
I want to sing for you
I want to ask you out
But you’d just say no

All of my words
Every chorus and every verse
I’d write it all for you
If you’d always be my muse

Christ with empty palms
All that I desire
I want to fall in love
I want to share my heart

All that I am
I feel like I have to change
But just to hear someone say
I like you exactly the way you are

I procrastinate just to fool myself
That you’ll give me a chance some day
You’re the coolest person that I’ve ever seen
And you don’t even have to try

All of your heart
Imperfections on pedestals
You don’t ever have to change
I like you exactly the way you are

My heart beats in rhythm as you speak
Your hardcore ghetto dialogue
You and me is all that I can dream
The hope that you’ll turn out to be
More than just a friend
Track Name: Brandi Lyons
Brandi Lyons
The story of Jesus Christ and the woman at the well
I know what you've done and I've seen it all before
I love you as you are
No sins to be absolved

Woman of ill repute too beautiful to judge
Sexual sacrament the body and the bread
Endless labyrinthine desire
Endless the song is always yours

Sinners blood mixed in with the backwash of the lords
Sundays fueled by hymns with prayers to discard
Soothe forget the burning fire
Soothe the wounds abrade in time

I'm gonna finger fuck your heart until you cum
I'm gonna break you down and build you up again
God damn the god who's never there
God damn I'm always in repair

All your faults designed
I let your father die
Redemption of what was
But what's been will always be

Old sin still shames the new life
Sunday morning sheds when you wear it
Blame the fathers death on the prophet
The same Achilles heal that you wounded

No immaculate new heart
The reprieve just seems so far
Charybdis opens her mouth
Here's a life that I can't choose
All the sermons nipples and thorns
For the mouths that suckle your crown
My distortions of who you are
Brick walls of red letter porn

And this is all we are
A masturbatory thought
A city of crucified hearts
Sign up for your cross
Golgotha harems for god

Temple full of flesh when your saved your body dies
Shed the sexual glands drape hymens on your lust
Hand fed the culture feeds you shame
Hand fed starve the body play the game

I can't give you a heart saccharine with song
I hear the pitch you sell I'm the bride and you're the lamb
Soft shame I know I'll never change
Soft shame discard the body lay your claim
Track Name: Laura, Janet, Nerissa, Steph, Jenna
Laura, Janet, Nerissa, Steph, Jenna
Harrow and Bed
Euphoria eyes
Aptera male
Silent Sirens
Milk and soot
Sunrise sprawl

Coward soul
Babi Yar cairn
Lethe sough
Sleepwalk paean
Yahweh's sin
Slipstream scorn

Eurydice in my sight I thought you saw my heart
Symbiat skin desire eyes like a false maria
If I could be somebody else then you'd marry me
Terraform the soul pentimento scrawls

Second sun in the sky we scale empyrean flames
Viscera in the song Erato milquetoast hymn
There's an arrow in your heart that sows the veins with lead
Lower god from the machine ameliorate the abyss

I'm in Gehenna I'm on the pyre
I'm the Vivian girl disemboweled on the stock
Unthread the surface river wash my sin
Trans-human Marsyas parousia calm

Throw all your bodies in the suttee fire
Habituated to the Harijan cull
Silhouette the scope of a dulcet glow
Strip off the skin and see the black hole marrow

Jesus seal my eyes with concertina sinew thread
Docile in the rip current arietta Morse code sulk
Terra firma soft skin Leander in the coquette's arms
Technicolor sunset Hiroshima Lite-Brite paraph
Track Name: Emily Bronte
Emily Bronte
My soul in your mouth
The parapet limbs
You cover my eyes
The phosphene glow

My fingers trace your silhouette heart
Unfold my hands inside your palms

I bury your songs
A briar patch tomb

Heart beats climb through paper womb skies
The bell jar noose urethra lungs
Pablum hymns of pharaohs and gods
Capon requiem squawks

The words start a fire
Viscera on white
The universe inside
Exoskeleton quiet
Epater les bourgeois
We flow our piss through their hearts
Violent Siamese marrow
The soul's meridian climb

Fire and blood precisian skin
Flayed by Medea's dress
A Warsaw sewer crawl

Halcyon womb kerosine bride
Brunnhilde through the pyre
Unchained in your ashes

Binary star siphon your glow
Perihelion waltz
Our souls 'cross the ocean

Burrow inside my skin is your coat
Hermaphroditus husk
We bleed from the same heart